Twin peaks

Here are a few of the issues about which there is screaming at the annual Christmas get-together:
1. food:
a. SALT; b. FAT; c. caloric content; e. much more;
2. consumerism
Oh so much more but a new issue has been added in years of late: BOOBS. Niece H. has inherited the family gazongas. Whereas previous generations have dressed in modest and chaste attire (barring sister L.'s halter top era), H. and her generation are of the firm belief that mammoral assets should be displayed. Even in subzero temps at the home of family matriarch A., who would prefer that all daughters and granddaughters dress in high-necked, pseudo Amish garb. She has been known to shriek incoherently about nipples.
An incident two years ago:
Matriarch A. to H: I don't want to have to look at your breasts all day.
H: But I got them from my mom!
This year: Christmas Eve. H., L., and I are going to church. H. comes downstairs in a cleavy top. Matriarch A. screams something to the effect of "you are not going to the house of the lord dressed like that!!!!!" I'm not sure if the word "harlot" was spoken; possibly I imagined that.
Loose-fitting turtlenecks are advised.