Rosalita, AARP version

1. Is it wrong to worship a musician's ass?
1. How did we end up being the youngest people at a Springsteen concert?

semantics?

I have two sisters, only two years apart. They have diametrically opposing views on certain issues, notably, bodily functions.

This summer we got together and sister A., who has two sons aged 8 and 10, chastized all of us for using the word "pee." She says it must be termed "tinkle." She swears we were not allowed to say "pee" when growing up. Her sons must refer to farts as "stinky noises." I am not making this up. She also criticized my mom for using the word "assinine" (my mom's favorite word) because of the first syllable.

Sister L., meanwhile, is the parent of the glorious child in the photo. L. and her family proudly celebrate all bodily functions. L. will often sit at a family dinner, such as Christmas, lift one cheek and let rip an astonishingly resonant expulsion that will echo off the walls. Eying the shocked faces, she smiles coyly and angelically. L. and her family speak fondly of public farting. My niece H. lovingly speaks of letting one rip loudly during an exam in one of the enormous classes at UW-Mad. They commonly moon one another. My niece and her father have been known to text one another about subjects including anal warts.

Me? I'm somewhere in between.