visit from the south
My friend G interrupted his globe trotting and hip urban lifestyle to visit me here in this humble cow town this past weekend. (Look at the link, there's a cute photo of Mayor Dave.)
Friday night (or actually Sat. morning) he wakes me up at 3 a.m. to say he can't find his wallet. We find it approximately eight hours later on top of his suitcase.
Saturday. Here's what we did.
--- G spills coffee and/or Diet Pepsi on every surface and item in my apartment.
--- I note again that G has an aversion to wearing pants when not in public and he has very veiny legs.
--- We converse with my landlord, whom G has a crush on, through my bathroom window, while my landlord is standing on a ladder looking in my bathroom window. I'm not going into any more detail.
--- We finally venture into public, go to State Street, eat some tasty food in an Irish castle, and then inspect some of the
cows (G also attracts cow parades).
--- We enter quaint funky shops including The Pipefitter, that perennial mecca for rural Wisconsin teens, where one can look at bongs and assorted penis-shaped objects.
--- We inspect even more cows.
--- We encounter a new issue: how do you tell if guys are gay or just European???? We follow three young dudes who were wearing capri pants, one in a white pair, with funky hairstyles. We, obviously, think they are gay, but when we follow them into a store, we hear them speaking a Scandinavian language. What a conundrum!!!!
--- Back at my house, G takes a nap and I listen to a 22-year-old drama queen's two-hour blast about her breakup with Mark to the entire neighborhood.
--- We watch "The Wedding Banquet."
--- We decide we should not have children, as a service to mankind.
--- Later we go to "Strangers with Candy" --- insanely twisted and funny film in which we learn the phrases for not one but two deviant sexual acts.. I have since learned that Wikipedia lists every deviant sexual act known to man. It is not the Encyclopedia Britannia of my youth!!!
Sunday: First we sit on the dock, drink and spill coffee, talk about ducks and Otis Redding, and I try to teach G how to spell Monona and Mendota.
Later, the feeding. The only thing I learn on this day is that the only real advantage this restaurant provides is giving one the ability to pour melted cheese all over your hamburger.
A little later, I say a wistful farewell to G and wait for another action-packed visit ...
Friday night (or actually Sat. morning) he wakes me up at 3 a.m. to say he can't find his wallet. We find it approximately eight hours later on top of his suitcase.
Saturday. Here's what we did.
--- G spills coffee and/or Diet Pepsi on every surface and item in my apartment.
--- I note again that G has an aversion to wearing pants when not in public and he has very veiny legs.
--- We converse with my landlord, whom G has a crush on, through my bathroom window, while my landlord is standing on a ladder looking in my bathroom window. I'm not going into any more detail.
--- We finally venture into public, go to State Street, eat some tasty food in an Irish castle, and then inspect some of the
cows (G also attracts cow parades).
--- We enter quaint funky shops including The Pipefitter, that perennial mecca for rural Wisconsin teens, where one can look at bongs and assorted penis-shaped objects.
--- We inspect even more cows.
--- We encounter a new issue: how do you tell if guys are gay or just European???? We follow three young dudes who were wearing capri pants, one in a white pair, with funky hairstyles. We, obviously, think they are gay, but when we follow them into a store, we hear them speaking a Scandinavian language. What a conundrum!!!!
--- Back at my house, G takes a nap and I listen to a 22-year-old drama queen's two-hour blast about her breakup with Mark to the entire neighborhood.
--- We watch "The Wedding Banquet."
--- We decide we should not have children, as a service to mankind.
--- Later we go to "Strangers with Candy" --- insanely twisted and funny film in which we learn the phrases for not one but two deviant sexual acts.. I have since learned that Wikipedia lists every deviant sexual act known to man. It is not the Encyclopedia Britannia of my youth!!!
Sunday: First we sit on the dock, drink and spill coffee, talk about ducks and Otis Redding, and I try to teach G how to spell Monona and Mendota.
Later, the feeding. The only thing I learn on this day is that the only real advantage this restaurant provides is giving one the ability to pour melted cheese all over your hamburger.
A little later, I say a wistful farewell to G and wait for another action-packed visit ...
posted by siouxzee at
5:29 PM
4 Comments:
a) I'm glad you took G to a place called The Pipefitter.
b) this is funny- "how do you tell if guys are gay or just European?"
c) Fuddruckers? You're nuts. For the best burger in the world, you should've gone to the goddamn Weary Traveler. If I lived in Madison, I'd be there all the time. Never not there.
By
jesse, at 9:03 AM
jesse - you're absolutely right .. muddfucker's sucks ass. G was inexplicably thrilled when we saw it there on Saturday and he kept talking about how we had to go there on Sunday. I have no clue why.
I live two blocks from the Weary Traveler and I am there almost round the clock. I've traveled, and I'm weary. "Bob's Bad Breath Burger" is an item on their menu.
By
siouxzee, at 9:53 AM
That's the burger I'm talking about. There is a girl named Nicole that me and 'real' Nicole were friends with in Wisco (they went by Li'l Nikki A and Li'l Nikki G.) If I win the custody battle, Nikki G will come get a bad breath burger with me in October.
By
jesse, at 10:47 AM
custody of what? the BB burger? And who's to say that either of the Nicoles is real?
By
siouxzee, at 11:27 AM
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