The real Joey Potter

It's just recently struck me that the evidence is all there: Katie Holmes and Katie Derksen are actually one and the same!!!!!!

OK, I know this sounds quite far-fetched. But first of all, Derksen is supposedly in Florida, but how do we know that's really true?? No one has seen her since last year, and this is leading me to believe that instead of being in Florida, she has been locked up in Tom Cruise's LA compound gestating and giving birth to that fake child.
And, look at this list of similarities:
1. Same first name
2. Same middle name!!!!! Noelle
3. Both are 20somethings
4. Both have long hair (KD's blonde, KH brunette, but there's probably some wigs and/or dyeing going on
5. Both work in industries involving cameras. KD shoots photos for a newspaper. KH is filmed by the paparrazzi and by camera crews on movie sets and WB shows.
6. Both dabble in geriatrics. KD shoots photos of old people in Florida. KH is dating Tom Cruise.
7. The Hinsdale connection. KH dated a guy (the "American Pie" actor) from Hinsdale, Illinois. KD knows someone (me) who has driven through Hinsdale multiple times, and who has been to several bars in Hinsdale, including the one mentioned by Donald T. Grigas in a previous post.
8. KH has been in a movie with Kevin Bacon. Or maybe that was Denise Richards. KD has probably eaten bacon for breakfast.
So, last year, KD was all conflicted, supposedly about whether to accept this Florida gig. But I'm thinking maybe, in actuality, it was about which she should choose: Dawson or Pacey?

Plus, there's that one time I swore I saw a copy of L. Ron Hubbard's book in the back of her bitchin' red Camaro. It was either that or an AP Style Manual. There's certainly similarities between rigid adherence to AP Style and Scientology.